overlooked and underappreciated

Brittany Detamore
proud wife of a “superdad”

Dear Mothers, Wives, and Sisters,

It’s amusing.   I honestly never thought, nor did I really have any desire to write a reflection for the FRAYAM page. Nevertheless, I am finding myself called to issue yet another reflection. My first reflection was inspired by an indispensable man in my life who changed my perspective in many respects and brought me closer to Christ, my son Rhett. However, there was (and still is) a man before Rhett who transformed my heart and made me whole; a man who I don’t tend to give enough credit and a man I am immensely honored to have at my side, my husband, Brad. 

I must admit I am one blessed lady, one of the “lucky ones,” you could say, to have found such a truly amazing man in Brad. Aside from being a genuinely good man and an overall human being, he compliments me in all the right ways. He is sensitive when I am rough, the voice of reason when I am obstinate, calm when I am frantic, caring when I am hurting, and he is painfully honest when I need to hear the truth. He is my rock, yet he understands that I am a fully capable woman. In short, he is the “Jim” to my “Pam.” As cliché as that may sound, it is the honest truth, and I am incredibly fortunate to have found someone who makes me whole.  Someone who makes me a better version of myself. Don’t get me wrong, Brad is not perfect, but that’s not the point. Though he may not be perfect, he’s perfect for me. I can truthfully say I am a better woman, mother, friend, and overall individual because of Brad. 

I find it quite funny.  I can openly and genuinely express these sentiments about my husband. I can’t verify if he knows that I feel this way because I can’t recall the last time I expressed my feelings of adoration and appreciation to him directly.  I tend to get caught up in my own daily struggle of cleaning the house, running errands, grocery shopping, taking Rhett to therapy, dropping Rhett off at school, picking Rhett up from school, attending doctor visits, all while working full-time. It’s a lot, so admittedly I get a little self-involved. However, through all that Brad is right there with me cleaning the house, running errands, grocery shopping, taking Rhett to therapy, dropping Rhett off at school, picking Rhett up from school, attending doctor visits also while working full-time. 

As a woman and a mother, I find that I receive social praise and affirmation for being a nurturer and caregiver. Furthermore, as a working mother and wife, I often find that I am unjustly dubbed as a “wonder woman” or “supermom”.  While I know there are MANY “wonder women” and “supermoms” out there, as I have the pleasure of knowing a few, I do feel that title is unjustly bestowed on me, simply because I am a mother. Now, please don’t misunderstand: mothers are absolutely amazing whether they be single mothers, working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, or a combination thereof. It’s just I rarely hear the term “superdad” referenced socially the same way. For that reason, I am not sure dads, husbands, and family men, in general, get the same amount of credit. 

This social incongruity makes me think of Joseph of Nazareth; a man in my opinion, often overlooked and underappreciated in scripture. Understandably so though, right? I mean let’s face it, it’s near impossible (or simply impossible) to compete with Mary and Jesus.  In light of this, Joseph didn’t stand a chance. However, in my humble opinion, Joseph exemplifies what it means to be a devoted husband, father, and believer. Think about it.  Joesph navigates a perilous journey through the Judean desert and the forested valley of the Jordan River on his way to Bethlehem.  With a hugely pregnant wife (can someone give this guy a gold star), Joseph demonstrates his conviction in God by courageously taking on the role of “father” to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Joseph not only willingly took on this task but did so wholeheartedly. I can only imagine the amount of pure faith it must have taken for Joseph to set aside his ego and openly accept the role of caretaker and provider for his betrothed Mary, who happened to be pregnant with the Son of Man. Talk about commitment.  This is just kinda, sorta a little bit of a [HUGELY IMPORTANT] commitment, right? Yet, we rarely celebrate Joseph and his achievement. I mean, this man brought Mary safely to Bethlehem but remained by her side through labor and helped her deliver the Son of Man.  Remarkable is an understatement.  I highly recommend a devotion to St. Joseph and a novena prayer is included below. 
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Now when Joseph took on the task of being a husband and father, he didn’t do it for notoriety or recognition.  Instead, he did it because he was a good man, and it was the honorable thing to do. It was a selfless act of love and courage. 

Brad is my Joseph. He is a selfless provider for myself and our son. He is our protector and consistently puts our needs above his own. I don’t tell him nearly enough that I appreciate, love, and value him as my husband and our son’s father. I tend to be careless in this way, not purposefully, but still inattentive nonetheless. As a working mother, it is easy for me to get caught up in all I, personally, do to keep the house in order and coordinate schedules, while fulfilling my work demands. However, I would not be capable of completing all those tasks if it weren’t for Brad. I can keep the house in order, coordinate schedules, and fulfill my work demands because I have a husband who compliments me in all the right ways. The only reason I appear to be a “supermom” is that I have a complimentary husband who is a super dad. 

We must acknowledge and appreciate the men in our lives. I am so proud of Brad; of the man he is. He is a role model for our son and other young men who will one day be husbands and fathers. He deserves recognition, so thank you, Brad, thank you for being the man you are, a wonderful husband and father. Rhett and I appreciate and love you. 

Who is Joseph in your life? Perhaps it’s your husband, father or son? When was the last time you expressed appreciation toward your Joseph?